Letting go

Last night I let something go; and while at first glance it seems like it is just a table and chairs....it was so much more.

I sold the dining table and chairs that my Mom and Dad bought over 40 years ago.

The set was bought a couple of years before my Mom passed away; and I never really remember her using it; just that she was thrilled and so proud to own a dining room set.

 When my Dad remarried my step mom, that first Christmas Eve we were together as a family, my Mom toiled away in the kitchen for hours preparing a large spread for dinner. Mom, Dad and the 5 of us kids sat at that table, gathered hands, said grace and....no one ate! We were all so excited for Christmas morning that none of us had any desire to eat! My poor mom looked so defeated...but we kids decided the quicker to bed, the quicker Santa's arrival so why be bothered with eating! That was the last formal Christmas Eve dinner we had at that table.  Through the years we would gather around the table for Thanksgiving Dinners, Easter Breakfast and  special event celebrations.  And there was always one extra space set at the table for the just in case someone we knew had no place to go for Thanksgiving...there was always room at our table.

In 1999 my siblings and I we were clearing out our family home, after my Dad passed (Mom has passed 3 years earlier) and I asked to have the dining table and chairs. I yearned for the tangible evidence of the good times our family shared around that table and I had my own dreams that surely the table could fulfill for me. I pictured my children around that table, saying grace, laughing, fighting, singing, talking and I dreamed of  having my family and Mark's family over for big family get togethers. Carrying on the fun memories that I had shared with my family.     And, well, God had other ideas for my life. I have no children and I live far away from my family. That table has moved with me 3 times in my hopes that maybe just maybe my dreams would come true.

But it is time to let it go...the table...the dreams...

My husband questioned whether I was ready to let something from my past that was so seemingly important to me, go.  I told him I was ready for the physical piece to move on because I was confident that I would always hold the memories of the times shared around that table in my heart

The table was sold to Natalia and Levi, a lovely newlywed couple, who are tickled pink to be setting up their new home.  Looking at the gleam in Natalia's eyes as the table was being lifted into the bed of her husband's truck....she was dreaming....I saw it...and it was beautiful.  And while the table was not passed down to my children, it was past down to someone's children and as they were getting in their truck to leave there were smiles as they discussed their first Thanksgiving dinner at that table...new dreams and memories from an old table.

After they left, and I wept, I went to my husband and he held me in his arms and gently whispered in my ear  "if I got you a Lexus would that make you feel better" and we both roared with laughter!
Yes it would make me feel better, (SC430 please) but it would not make me feel as good as I did in letting go, being held, laughing with my husband and discussing how we should furnish the now empty room. The sparkle of new dreams that could only occur once I, let go.